Why Do I Have To Repeat Myself?
I know it can be super frustrating to have to repeat yourself over and over again as a Leader. I bet you wish you had a magic wand and when you wave it your team members comply and take on boar what you are saying….
I know it can be super frustrating to have to repeat yourself over and over again as a Leader. I bet you wish you had a magic wand and when you wave it your team members comply and take on boar what you are saying…. but until such a device has not been invented yet so let’s look at some of the possible causes and also discuss what your responsibility is as a leader. There are a few things to consider.
1) Humans are complex
We perceive things through the filters of our minds. You may look at something and see it one way and I might see it a totally different way. There is no such thing as ‘reality’ because no one person’s perception is correct. Our filters are made up of our identity, beliefs and values that we hold. The filters are also depicted by the experiences that we have had in our lives. For example, someone who grew up with the identity that they are ‘not good with numbers’ may be given a task that involves having to calculate things. When given the task they agree that it seems relatively simple to follow your instructions, but we find it hard to follow through with it because it goes against how we see ourselves. The beliefs that that same team member has may also cause the information to go in one ear and out the other because of their confidence around the task. They might go into overwhelm because the task is too big or not clear enough. This causes them to shut down on the inside and they haven’t learned to speak up about their lack of confidence in that area yet. They don’t want to look stupid…
This may also be because of a culture barrier in diverse teams, so this is even more relevant with ELS (English as a second language) staff.
So, How do we approach this then?
You need to keep an open mind and ask check in questions to gauge what they already know and be curious about what they see. Get them to repeat back to you what they are understanding. You also need to make sure when you convey information that you TAKE THE TIME TO CARE. When you have the mindset of “I will help you to achieve this together” the team member will open up to you more about what challenges they have in achieving the task and fears that are associated with it.
Some example questions:
“What are you understanding?”
“What are the steps again?”
“What is important about this?”
“What do you need to consider?”
2) Different Learning styles
You know your team members and they are all different. You can’t give a blanket instruction and expect it to be done the way you want because some people want to hear the information, some want to see it, and some want to put it into action straight away. Make sure that all of your meetings have clear written tasks that are emailed out to the team as well as it being well explained and ask people if they want to try it with you first. This will cover all basis and gives you an insight into who in your team needs what type of coaching. Some people will also need more accountability than others. That is your job as a leader to know who needs what and hold them accountable. Set clear times you will follow up with them about a task you have given out and check in if they need any support. Ask people what their preferred learning style is so that you can use that way when you are delegating to them.
3) Coaching people to handle the complex
When you are having 1;1 meeting with each team member or facilitating team meeting you need to be thinking about how you can get the team to contribute by asking questions and you as the lead not giving all the answers….. Over a period of time, you are teaching them how to be more resourceful and take responsibility and this will lead to less reptation and more action. If you are giving them stretch feedback in your 1;1 conversations and goals to reach they will want to strive higher and not need so much attention. This is also an opportunity for you to acknowledge them for their strengths and help them build their confidence.
4) RTFM (Read the fucking manual)
Excuse the French but this is a excellent company value that was created by the Coaching Institute because they have excellent manuals, operational documentation and clear systems for people to find information. They created this as a value to teach the team to find their own information. They have the documents set up because helps the team without having to bother the boss! If you are getting annoyed when people keep asking you things it may be because they don’t know how to find the information, or the information is not systemized. This is not the team’s fault. It’s yours…. This is also a brilliant opportunity to get your team member to start a system with you. As you explain how to do it turn it into steps and put it into a google doc. /workspace information sharing platform such as Notion. Start slowly creating files over a period of time that will mean your team members have access to the information….. If the information is client specific and cannot be systemized then maybe create a chat group with questions that you answer once every 2 days.
Ultimately repeating yourself is awesome feedback that you and your systems need to be upgraded. Whether that be your people systems, documentation or your own system when giving information out. This is a huge challenge that business owners face. Remember that you dont have to do it on your own. I can support you to get your time back by developing these new systems so that your team can have clarity and confidence to show up like you want them to.